Who is the Parent, Anyway?

I had the opportunity to take my granddaughter shopping for some new school shoes today. In my mind this year is a big deal. She starts kindergarten. I'm losing my little buddy to 5 days a week of school. Good for her! Poor old Nanie! Ok, woe is me time is over.

I had forgotten how painful shopping for school clothes with kids really is. Why does a 5 year old have such strong opinions about what would work for school/play?  I have noticed how many fairly young children make their own choices about how they dress. Ok, at the age of 10 or maybe even 8 that seems fine; as long as they have been taught a few things. But, 3, 4, 5 and so on, I don't think so.

I believe in allowing children to make a choice. Parents, select two appropriate outfits, and give them a choice. If they don't like their choice, so be it, those are their choices. There doesn't have to be any fighting about this. If whining and crying begin, all you need to say is these are your choices. Stand your ground! Let them bully you into having their way at that young age and you have set yourself to be bullied until they leave home. Who is the parent anyway?

This tact worked well with my children. The older they got the more freedom they earned to make those choices. We always tried to teach about what was appropriate for different occasions. Our biggest battle with one son was that darned hat. A staple in his wardrobe even today. But, he knew when he should take it off. He could always put it back on later. We went through long hair, green hair, bowl cut, mullet with those two guys. Afterall, as teenagers, it was an expression of themselves.  They were pretty good kids, so what if their hair was long or green. Yes, we did cringe and ask why. But,  they have grown into wonderful men, sons, husbands, and dads. My making their clothing choices for them from birth until 8 years or so didn't ruin them as people.
So, stand firm and keep on lovin'!
Madre